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Family Birthstone Jewelry: Complete Guide
Family Birthstone Jewelry: Complete Guide
Family birthstone jewelry gives each person in a family their own birthstone and puts those stones together in something one person wears. The usual options are a pendant set with several stones, a stack of slim rings, birthstone charms on a bracelet, or single-stone pendants layered on separate chains. Choose the format first, based on how many people it needs to hold and whether the family is still growing. Then choose the stones and the metal.
Below you will find a birthstone chart with hardness for every month, ideas for ordering the stones, and pieces from our mother's and family jewelry to show what each format looks like.
Family birthstone jewelry at a glance
| Format | How the family shows up | Best for | Check before you buy |
|---|---|---|---|
| Multi-stone pendant | Two or more birthstones in one setting | Couples, a parent and child, small families | Number of stones is fixed; chain may be sold separately |
| Stackable rings | One slim ring per person, worn together | Mothers who wear rings daily | Ring size and stone hardness |
| Birthstone charms | One charm per child on a bracelet or chain | Growing families and grandmothers | Charm size and the bracelet that carries them |
| Layered pendants | A single-stone pendant per person on separate chains | Two or three children | Chain lengths that keep pendants apart |
| Lockets | Photos inside, with or without a stone | Keepsake gifts | Opening size for the photos |
Most gifts land in the first three rows. Lockets are the exception, because the photos inside do the work the stones do in the other formats.
One pendant, several stones
This is the format most people picture: a heart or circle with a row of small stones, one for each child. It reads as a single piece, so it suits a mother who wears one necklace every day and does not want to manage a layered look.
The catch is that the number of settings is fixed. A two-stone pendant stays a two-stone pendant. If a third child might come along, a charm bracelet or layered pendants will age better.
From the Birthstone Company collection
Birthstone family pendants
Both hearts are sterling silver with a bright rhodium finish, and each stone sits in a bezel, a smooth rim of silver that protects its edges. The listings note that the stones are chosen for each order, so have the months ready. Each heart measures 24 mm wide and 26 mm long (29 mm overall) and is sold as the pendant alone, so pair it with one of our chains. The single-stone heart works well for a new parent; the two-stone version suits a couple or a parent with one child.
Birthstones by month, with hardness
Hardness matters more in family jewelry than in most gifts, because the piece usually gets worn every day for years. The Mohs scale runs from 1 (talc) to 10 (diamond). Stones at 7 and above handle daily wear in a ring; softer stones are happier in pendants and charms, which take fewer knocks.
| Month | Birthstone | Color | Mohs hardness |
|---|---|---|---|
| January | Garnet | Deep red | 6.5 to 7.5 |
| February | Amethyst | Purple | 7 |
| March | Aquamarine | Pale blue | 7.5 to 8 |
| April | Diamond | Colorless | 10 |
| May | Emerald | Green | 7.5 to 8 |
| June | Pearl, alexandrite, moonstone | White; green to red; milky with a blue sheen | 2.5 to 4.5; 8.5; 6 to 6.5 |
| July | Ruby | Red | 9 |
| August | Peridot | Yellowish green | 6.5 to 7 |
| September | Sapphire | Blue | 9 |
| October | Opal, tourmaline | Play of color; many colors | 5 to 6.5; 7 to 7.5 |
| November | Topaz, citrine | Yellow to orange | 8; 7 |
| December | Blue topaz, tanzanite, turquoise, zircon | Blue shades | 8; 6 to 7; 5 to 6; 6 to 7.5 |
Several months have more than one birthstone. That gives you room to choose. If two children share December, one can have blue topaz and the other tanzanite. Our month-by-month birthstone finder lists every option, and the October birthstone guide explains why tourmaline is often the easier October choice for a ring.
Stackable rings: one ring per person
A stack of thin rings, each with one birthstone, is about the most flexible family ring you can wear. You can add a ring when a child is born, wear two on a busy day and all of them on a birthday. Nobody has to choose a fixed design up front.
The stack does need some planning. Rings of a similar width sit together neatly, so look at the band width in each listing. Keep the softer birthstones out of the stack if the wearer works with her hands, and check ring sizes, since some styles come in a single size.
The ruby and emerald rings are sterling silver set with lab-created stones, with bands 3.5 mm and 3.6 mm wide, and both are listed in size 7. A lab-created sapphire stackable ring in the same style adds September at a 3.5 mm width. The blue topaz ring is narrower at 2.25 mm, with a 4mm round blue topaz in a bezel, and comes in sizes 5 to 10. That blue topaz is irradiated, which is how nearly all blue topaz gets its color. Ruby and sapphire both rate 9 on the Mohs scale, so they hold up well on a hand. For more on setting styles and sizing, read how to choose a birthstone ring.
If the family might still grow, choose a format you can add to: rings, charms or layered pendants.
Charms that grow with the family
Charms are the easiest way to keep up with a family that keeps changing. Each child gets a charm, and a new one goes on the bracelet when a grandchild arrives.
From the Birthstone Company collection
Boy and girl birthstone charms
Both charms are 10K yellow gold with a polished finish. The boy charm measures 7.2 mm wide and 17.26 mm long, the girl charm 7.8 mm wide and 17.4 mm long, and both are 20 mm overall. The listings describe the stones as synthetic, meaning made in a laboratory rather than mined; the July girl charm carries a synthetic ruby. Other months are available too, such as the January girl charm with a synthetic garnet. Our month collections, like July birthstone jewelry, group pieces by stone.
Charms need something to hang from. A link bracelet with open links gives each charm its own place.
This bracelet is 14K yellow gold with a polished finish and hollow double links 4 mm wide, closed with a lobster clasp. It is offered in 7 and 8 inch lengths. Gold charms on a gold bracelet keep the metal consistent, which matters more as the bracelet fills up.
Layered pendants and lockets
Layering gives each person a pendant of their own on a separate chain. It works best for two or three people. Beyond that the chains start to tangle. Use different chain lengths, such as 16, 18 and 20 inches, so each pendant hangs clear of the next.
The circle pendant is sterling silver with a rhodium finish and a single bezel-set birthstone chosen for each order. It measures 25 mm wide and 26 mm long (29 mm overall). Worn next to the single-stone heart above, it lets two children have pendants that match without being identical.
Lockets take a different route. Instead of stones, they hold photos, and some families pair one with a small charm.
The oval locket is sterling silver with a rhodium finish, 19.6 mm wide and 27.9 mm long (33.4 mm overall). It opens to a fabric-lined interior and carries a touch of blue as an accent. The MY FAMILY heart charm is sterling silver with black enamel lettering and measures 12.52 mm wide and 14.02 mm long, small enough to sit beside birthstone charms on a bracelet.
How to arrange the stones
No rule decides the order, but most families use one of these:
- Oldest to youngest, reading left to right. It is easy to follow, and a new child is simply added at the end.
- Parents in the center with children on either side, a common layout for a mother's or grandmother's piece.
- By color, so that similar shades, such as a garnet and a ruby, do not sit side by side and blur together.
If two people share a month, repeat the stone, or use a second birthstone from that month. Twins are easy to show either way. Write the order down when you buy, so anything you add later follows the same pattern.
Choosing the metal
Sterling silver is the usual starting point for family pieces, and a rhodium finish keeps it bright and slows tarnish. 10K gold has more alloy metal than 14K, which makes it a little harder; 14K has a deeper yellow and more pure gold. If the wearer already owns a family piece, match its metal, especially for charms and stacking rings that will be worn side by side.
Natural and lab-created stones both have a place. Lab-created rubies, emeralds and sapphires share the chemistry and hardness of mined stones, which is why we often suggest them for rings worn every day. Our lab-created gemstones collection gathers them in one place.
Who family birthstone jewelry suits
Mothers are the obvious recipients, and our gifts for mom collection is a good starting point. New parents receive a first birthstone piece as a push present, and there is a push present collection for exactly that. Charms suit grandmothers, for the reasons above. Couples can wear a two-stone pendant with both of their months, and some add a child's stone later on a separate charm.
For gift ideas across every type of birthstone jewelry, see our birthstone jewelry gift guide. Shopping for the holidays? The birthstone Christmas gift guide sorts pieces by recipient.
A short buying checklist
- Confirm every birth month, and for June, October, November and December, which of the month's stones each person prefers.
- Count the people now, then think about whether the family may grow.
- Check whether a pendant includes its chain. Pendant-only listings give a size in millimetres and no chain length.
- Check the ring size, and whether a ring style comes in more than one size.
- Keep softer stones such as pearl, opal and turquoise for pendants and charms.
Caring for family birthstone jewelry
Clean most stones with warm water, mild soap and a soft brush, then dry them with a lint-free cloth. Keep pearl, opal, emerald and turquoise away from ultrasonic and steam cleaners. Store each piece on its own so harder stones do not scratch softer ones, and take rings off for gardening, cleaning and the gym. On a charm bracelet, check the jump rings now and then; a charm that has worked loose is much easier to fix than one that has gone missing. Our jewelry basics guide covers metals and care in more depth.
Family birthstone jewelry questions
What is family birthstone jewelry?
It is jewelry that carries one birthstone for each person in a family, usually the children, sometimes the parents or grandchildren too. It can be a single pendant with several stones, a stack of rings, charms on a bracelet, or separate pendants worn together.
How many birthstones can go on one family necklace?
That depends on the design. A multi-stone pendant has a fixed number of settings, such as the two-stone heart in our collection. For larger families, charms or several single-stone pendants let you add one stone per person without a limit set by the piece.
What order should the birthstones go in?
There is no rule. Many families place stones from oldest to youngest, reading left to right. Others put the parents' stones in the middle or arrange by color. Pick one order and keep it, so later additions fit the pattern.
What if two children share a birth month?
Use the same stone twice. For months with more than one birthstone, such as June, October, November and December, you could also give each child a different stone from their month so the two can be told apart.
Is family birthstone jewelry a good gift for a grandmother?
Yes. Charms suit grandmothers well, because one can be added each time a grandchild arrives. A charm bracelet or a locket also keeps the piece from becoming crowded as the family grows.
Which birthstones are too soft for a family ring?
Pearl (2.5 to 4.5 on the Mohs scale), opal (5 to 6.5) and turquoise (5 to 6) scratch and chip more easily. If a family ring must include one of them, consider a pendant or charm for that person instead, where the stone takes fewer knocks.
Are lab-created birthstones real gemstones?
A lab-created ruby, emerald or sapphire has the same chemical makeup and hardness as the mined stone; it is grown in a laboratory instead of the earth. Each product page states which kind of stone you are buying.
Related guides
Look up any month in our November birthstone guide or the December birthstone guide, both of which cover months with more than one stone. For diamond sizes, see what carat weight means.
Ready to start? Browse our mother's and family jewelry by stone, metal and style.
